Majesty 4/22

How bad could it be they said
but do they know who she is
Her I am stuck eating bread
While she is called princess

I am a peasant, this I do know
I only but wish she could see
the love for her I bestow
I wish....my majesty

I can't stand back and embrace this pain
I love her so much, till the end of my days 
I'm going mad, completely insane
I wish I could woe her in some way

She looks at me with such desire
is it just me or is she coming this way
I fell my love burn on fire
when she kiss me as if it was ok

it was. 

crisis crystal 4/14

He empties his hands to the cashier as she releases the change in the cash register 

He stares down ever cent that clinges to the slot.

As each cent hits her voice rings the amout released, "one, two, three....seventy-two..."

knowing he was short on so much, he pulls out his gun.

The fear in her eyes screamed at him as his hands begin to tremble.

This isn't want he wanted, had never paid exact change, and he only knew what his father had taught him.

Her lips begin to tremble as tears strolled down her rosy cheeks.

His heart began to sick when he stared at her more. 

He drops the gun, and embraces her. 

He couldn't do what he grew up to be.

4/7/16 Daylight desperation

Is this all you really need?
I feel I am missing something
Is it the cold night breeze?
Or the way you can beautifully sing?

I've no idea, too much to wonder
I guess I should dig into life
and suggest a way to ponder
that will take me to high.

I guess it's your love I miss the most
the feel of everything gathering in
and the way your love floats
or am I just a horrible sin?

I feel more intimate than I usually do
the fire glows too bright for me
but I love looking at you
oh god! help me please.

It's me. This night. Just everything
Why me? When will the sin rise
I need this to end. I feel the sting.
You cause me to sin, tonight!

I'm in desperate need of the light.
to let him know to go
He cause me to not do right
Go home! So they won't know.

3/1/16 destiny intimidates its own call

So many fear, of their future's home.
Is it fear of not getting back
Or fear of being a lone
Or old age and a heart attack. 

Why must it all come down to this
Where the world strives for a better past
All that was long ago dismissed
Why can't they see it all won't last. 

Future holds a better name
A better understanding 
It won't all be the same 
This world is changing 

We all try to change the view of life
But place your heart some where pure 
And find a better thing to strive 
And things will be better for sure

I promise it'll all get better soon
Hold firm your shaking ground
Because it'll get better for you
We all just need to hear that sound,

Virtue holds withered peddles. 3/25/16

He loves me, he loves me not

I lie here as the peddles rot

I need the life of a gorgeous bloom

Not here in a lonesome room

I want him here in my sight

So I can hold him strongly tight

None of which my heart desires

Lies in this rooms, but lighting fires

Soon now he'll be my destiny

I'll just wait till he comes for me

He calls through clouds and whispers at night

But it's not the same when he's not in sight

Holding my life like a bucket of water

I'll always think of him, he matters

Things will turn out more than it appears

Better hopefully with no fears

He'll be here, I'll be here, its virtue

But in the end we pay our dues

Life doesn't hold on forever

But always got to make the better. 

My tourniquet 3/11/16

"Hush!" He would say in the dead of night.

"Must you be so loud! They'd catch you in sight!"

Can this world be of peace or of wondrous view

Can't we all just be understanding and not refuse 

This world seems bitter and quite demise 

It's crazy, unreal, it's gets me by surprise

"Stop thinking out loud my dear!"

My mind is so over whelmed with fear

"Quiet yourself and be prepared!"

I can't! I'm nervous! I'm scared!

We let loose of the engine, cut the brakes

Jumped the car and was gone without a trace.  

Cold endure 3/4/16

The darkness brews on the cold summer night
I hold his hand while it's love we fight
Strong and steady we stand for hours
Waiting for that one moment to be ours

He grabs hold of my face as my hair blows along
He kisses my cold cheek and then hums a song
I smile ever so slightly to let him know I hear
I hear his heart finally overcoming fear.

"Does my love for you show just enough?"
He leans again and whispers "my love?"
My eyes grow tired but my heart leads me wake
For I knew that I had all of it for him to take

I'm not afraid of his immense love
I know that when I die well together above
So what more could I possible endure
Only the fact that I fear nothing cause he is pure.

Black Holes and Broken Hearts 2/26

It was all lies. 

You would say every night you'd come and save the night of remembrance.

Where were you? I begged, lied, stole, and even cheated without a purpose.

Did you have a reason to disappear in the world's black hole?

I sat for days left with spaces between my fingers where yours fit perfectly.

You promised a night to remember where you'd finally tell me.

I sat for hours that night waiting for your existence to fill the void!

This void wrapped around me replacing your arms and you warmth settling in me.

How could you just leave without a settled goodbye. 

I too would've have said so myself if I wanted to be voided from the world.

At least....my world.

Was this easy?

My expectations had left me hoping and wishing for the immense loneliness to find its way out.

But, no...You discovered another path around the voidness of constant heart break.

You didn't want this did you?

You left me with emptiness in my hands. 

What have I to look forward to, when all this is done?

You've completely settled in a better angle of this oddly shaped past.

Life left a black hole, black hole for your words and my broken heart.

Typical me 2/19

Typical me.
I'm very unorganized at times and it can get annoying for me.
I've been lacking sleep. I wake up, tired than the average tired person. I push minutes for myself to sleep, but time runs by so fast I end up fighting the sleep and force myself ready.

   I'm getting good grades.....except one or two classes with either high or low C. Government isn't my thing, I can't focus on something that strikes me with no interest, Astronomy...we take tests/quizzes literally the day after we get done writing 3 pages of notes.

   I don't have time to study at home because I live with my aunt now while family live in Alabama because I have to finish my school year and good lord my cousin and aunt fist fight, scream and yell, and I'm stuck watching a baby and two kids. When I say I've no time I literally have no time. My classes are full except creative writing but I have astronomy 2nd hour and we get 5 minutes....THATS NOT ENOUGH TIME!!

   I do all my homework in my classes. All I got to do in creative writing is write, write stories which  love, but I things get crazy for me when I end up losing my journal the day of or before its check. And I stress about it because I'm tired ALL the time, and can't focus.....


I forgot journal check we today....and didn't put my journals together....

My "addiction" 2/11/16

This'll sound a bit corny...


I met my boyfriend two years ago. We both went to school together, enjoyed every second we had with each other. We had a thing for each other not too long after we met and became a couple. I think back now to things we did together and I can't help but wish it again. I've grown completely addicted to the memories of us. I'm addicted to thinking of our future after high school.
It seems as though I grow more addicted to it. He's made everything amazing for me. I've grown so close to him and he's one thing I absolutely can't live without (of course some adults out there might say it's a phase) But I've been through 4 boyfriends before my 10th grade (that's when I met and started dating my boyfriend). All those boys never really were what I looked for, dating them only sounded good because they were my best friends, but I never really actually had fellings for them or any other guy. Realizing later they all had cheated on me and lied to me, I've completely given up on even dating. Then I met my current boyfriend. Never once has he showed a sign of discomfort. He's been loyal and honest, and absolute buddy to me
   Pets, (no I will not be a nasty old woman with a dirty house with animals), I just love animals. I just can't quiet seem to get by so easily without one. I just love having something warm and fuzzy/fluffy beside me in bed, or even just to play with and care for. Animals have always been something to bring me up from a hard day, even when my boyfriend isn't able to get ahold me (that's rare, he's in a band and he does a lot with his dad at his shop).
  Video games, sounds bad, I know. It's pathetic. But my dad used to play video games all the time when I was literally a year old. I started play at 3. Seriously. Started playing Atari and Nintendo, GameCube, PlayStation, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox, you name it I used to have or have. Video games seem to be the thing that helps me relax, sometimes, ha! (Gamer reference). It blocks out sound.
  Music, I love! I play drums, guitar, and a little bit of piano, literally a little. I can read music though.
I've played music since 4th grade, it relaxes me and it helps me focus whether it's me playing or just music I listen to. Rock, metal, punk.
  Last but not least, my family. They've been through everything with me to get me to where I am now. They are amazing and helpful, we get out of hand sometimes but it doesnt stay that way. We always forgive and move on. They are one thing I cannot live without.


Had to explain the boyfriend part more to make a point.

All in the movement of my lips 2/5

It's all in the movement of my lips

You face trouble and you taste deceite 

Just place your warm hands on my hips

And drown out all your defeat

Having trouble looking in my eyes

I can feel and even tell

That you think all I say are lies

Don't think about what fell

Deep in thought I can see

I feel you get nervous

Just slide your arms around me

And it'll clean up the mess

You're having troubles understanding

But I promise you'll feel better

Once you hear the meaning

I heard you say "I love her."

I have a confession for you

Just hold me secure me 

And I'll tell you the truth

And everything honesty

Just listen, and watch closely

Because you seem to be scared

Of what may come from me

You're already prepared

It's all in the movement of my lips

I'll whisper in you're ear

As you slide your hands back to my hips

Luckily you're still very near

"I love you." 

Deep Skin 1/29

i remember in night December skies

Laying under the stars making love

I heard someone, with awful cries

And the lights dimmed above

He kissed my cheek and told me to wait

I was scared and confused

He leaves as I started to shake

He was gone and I was abused

Abused by the loniless with no sound

Then hours later I wondered 

I finally found my love's body on the ground

I cried and pondered

I laid on his body wanting him here

I glanced and saw a knife 

blood covered it with fear

I saw a ring dignifying wife

He was going to propose 

What has happened to my love

Someone was watching I suppose 

Only they know above

Then from the shadow of night

Came a girl with a gun to my head

I scream due to fright 

I knew I rather be dead

She whispered "here comes the bride all dressed in white

Then........

Can't explain her love 1/22

My love, 

I am sorry for all the pain and tears

I thought I could fight your fears

You want someone to love

But not even I was enough

I wish I had time to explain it all

Before you took that tragic fall

It's my fault you heart came to a stop

My words were in knots

Can I wish you back again

And you'd forgive my sin

After I explain things

Would you show me your wings

The wings you've told me before

How they were sore

But why have you not showed me

I always thought it curiosity 

I now understand the movement of your lips

You wanted your hands on her hips

Her as in anyone to hold

But did you know my love was sold

Of course to you that's true

I only wish you knew

Your wings are resemblance of love

Love not even a goddess have above

But now that's gone

What I've done was all wrong

Magnificently Changing Fantasy

Here she comes, dressed in red. 

She's covered in ribbons and diamonds drown her head.

"M'Lady! You're late. You've worried us all."

I said as I took a fall.

She was stricken with fear as I looked in here eyes.

She hid her face as she cries. 

I took her hand cold as ice

But something strange stole my eyes

I saw unordinary stature

My creative mind was fractured

I saw men's wings spread like bees

And women sing in minor keys.

A tall woman held firm to balloons
And over me was butterflies in cocoons.
I saw in the sky not clouds but pictures
Paintings and pictures of beautiful structure.
Magnificence was of the essence
May my soul be bestowed to this presence. 

I saw a creature speed through light

And centaur beautiful and full of might.

A horse with two heads of fear

But no one was scared that was near

I don't understand what it could be

Was this my beautiful majesty

I smelled a warm crisp breeze in the summer

And a man hold his sweet beautiful lover

A girl skipped down the lane

But she had a tail, and talked insane

This was preposterously amazing

Even when I hear the banshee's sing

How must this scare M'Lady

For only few looked shady

I did feel a bit of a horrible tension

For the land suddenly filled with depression 

Hydrid and cyclops over came the land

For now I do clearly understand

M'Lady saw a fractured view

Fear that would strike you too

Everything was annihilated

M'Lady's heart was confiscated 

I released her hand and kissed her face

For I am there for her embrace

Walk threw the aisle and look out the window

For something was going to happen only she and I know...